Book: Women by Charles Bukowski

This is my first Bukowski and it was a harsh introduction. I had no idea what I was getting into but I'm glad I found another writer with such lawlessness, such complete disregard for etiquette and good taste. Bukowski shows no concern for anyone except himself. I can picture him being very similar to his protagonist Henry Chinaski. Henry's only concern was how to make life move quickly and painlessly. He had given up on love, health, culture, spirituality. Anything that most people find profound meaning in was an annoyance for old Hank. He simply wanted to find pleasure in the easy, while doing what came naturally to him, which was writing.

The story finds Chinaski at the peak of his career with women flocking to him, fans of his romantic belligerence. Most of the women didn't mean anything to him and as soon as they spoke out of turn or challenged him he simply walked away without a raised word, without the slightest remorse. The women he did enjoy had grace, beauty and intelligence but were ultimately victims of insecurity. He kept the few in constant torment, informing them of other girls he would fuck and leave. I could say that he had honesty, but in this context that wasn't a quality of his character, it was a complete disregard for human feelings. But, this behavior kept him writing, it kept him alive when his body was abused beyond repair.

I have seething hatred for Chinaski yet I'm constantly drawn to subject matter like this. It's just another example of the senselessness of life, the insanity of it. It's comforting to read about characters like this because it makes me feel like I'm not the only one who's wandering around trying to experience as much of the fringe as possible. I would like to walk to the edge and look over, but in all honesty I don't have the balls to do so. Chinaski did and will die with memories of his exploits without regret because he was sufficiently desensitized by a harsh past and liberal amounts of booz. I hate Chinaski, but I envy his fearlessness. As for Bukowski, I'll keep reading his stuff for short glimpses of clarity, brief moments of the profound, with backdrops of absurdity.

5/5

Book: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson

I'm constantly playing catch up, constantly seeking out books and movies and music I should've experienced before, and I've been thinking about why I interpret my situation this way. It's certainly not for my own personal enjoyment, although I do enjoy most of what I absorb. I think it's simply because I'll have one more artifact of culture to share with someone else. I yearn for someone to ask me what the last book I read was, so I can reply without hesitation, "the 200 page acid trip titled Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." And then I could describe a couple of my favorite scenes and they could describe a couple of theirs. Isn't that the only reason we do any of this?

But I can't remember the last time someone asked me what the last book I read was. So I'll use this place to say that I loved Fear and Loathing. It was a trip, a high speed chase, a hurricane of social commentary filtered through the consciousness of a drug addled paranoid schizo. The story and the dialog moved so quickly I was done with it in two days and now I'm left with images that will no doubt inhabit my subconscious for the rest of my short life. Thompson was a lunatic, a dangerous person, but that didn't stop him from understanding better than most people how insane existence in this country is. How the American Dream is a void when looking at it as a spectator. When in search of it, all you'll find is an obese ex-stripper sitting at a slot machine so drunk she can hardly keep herself upright. But if you choose to live it, the dream can be literally anything you want it to be, from a crazed dope fiend to an uptight family man. And it doesn't really matter which you choose to strive for because both identities will ultimately end the same way.

5/5

Book: The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists

I've been wanting to read this for a few years now, ever since my friend James brought it home our senior year of college and suffered through jokes and ridicule until he completed it. The pickup artist community has always fascinated me in a strange way. I more or less knew what it was about, a group of people who believe that human interaction can be reduced to a series of variables that if manipulated correctly can give an otherwise insecure person the ability to attract women. The fascination obviously came from my own insecurity, an insecurity I think a lot of people share in modern civilization.

We're born into a family, most often by a mother and a father, and we see that as the model of existence from a very young age. Our parents are our role models and if they were able to make a family then we should be able to as well. But, there are no lessons to be learned, no guidance, no strategies that parents can instill upon their children because their union is a result of their life experiences up until their meeting. Their being together doesn't give us any reassurance that we are also capable of beginning a family. They simply show that it's possible and beneficial, but we have our own journey, our own life experiences to learn from in order to get there and there's no guarantee that your better half will ever come along.

This point has been frightening for me ever since I became an atheist. At that moment you realize the only possible avenue of immortality is to pass your genes on to the next generation of man. If you fail to procreate then you die without a trace. Given, if you're a generous person, people will have benefited from your existence, but without children your physical traits will be lost forever.

So I picked up this book and another (Bang by Roosh V) to maybe learn something about human nature; to filter out the shallow bullshit that is inherent in the art of pickup and learn enough so that I might be more prepared to achieve my ultimate purpose.

This particular book isn't a how-to, it's a story about a group of people who founded the business of pickup, people who stream-lined the concept into a product and sold it to men who felt like they needed help meeting women. Neil Strauss, the writer and main character also known as Style did a great job. He taped so many conversations, described so many delicate moments and strategies that he developed and passed on to his students either willfully or not. The only thing I could criticize Strauss for would be his lack of objectivity. There were definitely passages that were unjustly colored, characters that were described in an unflattering light because of his feelings toward them. And although he admitted his own faults now and again, I think Strauss displayed an unattractive sense of elitism throughout which was detrimental to the effort as a whole, but at the same time, made the read more honest and human than if it were written by a more objective observer.

Did I learn anything that will help me with my journey? That question is complicated. As with any complex topic, research only leads to more questions, but there are several key points that the book made quite clear which I will list:

1) Independent of venue, the only way to meet a girl is to talk to her. Even the best pickup artists get rejected 95% of the time, but they meet more women because they talk to more of them.

2) The opener is the hardest part. If you get over the anxiety to begin a conversation then your chances of meeting someone special are going to increase. There are actually many wonderful openers described in this book and Bang that would be effective simply because they serve the purpose of initiating conversation. When no words come to mind there's nothing shameful in having a few openers memorized to get things going.

3) The actual conversation should be natural, you don't have to have entire stories memorized, but if you talk about aspects of your life that even you consider boring then you're going to bore your audience. There's no way around that. So talk about something you're passionate about and if she seems uninterested, walk away and try again with the next one.

4)  Include everyone. If you see a girl you're attracted to and she's with people, it's going to seem creepy to approach her and alienate her friends. Approaching a group is the ultimate skill of pickup because instead of singling one girl out and forcing her to make up her own mind about you, there is a group of people to reinforce the idea that you're a fun person. If her friends like you, she will have all the more reason to like you.

5) Don't feel the need to get hammered to loosen up at a bar or club. Alcohol helps, but your chances will be better if you control yourself and portray the image of someone who can have fun without it.

6) Don't be a prick. It was the intention of almost everyone in this book to sleep with the girl they approached, but if you're reading this and you know me then you'd know that I don't agree with that line of thinking. One night stands are an experience, but a relationship is a fulfilling experience. And as I stated, the ultimate goal is to start a family, so if you find yourself seeking validation by sleeping with women you don't know, take some time to reflect about your own insecurities and find a more sustainable solution.

Maybe obvious points to you, but they weren't obvious to me. And although I'll still have anxiety with the approach for some time, at least I have some stories, some tools, some knowledge of other people's experiences to help me. Let me know if you'd like to borrow either The Game or Bang and I will gladly accommodate.

4/5