The weekend. I went to NYC for a birthday party for three different girls. Two of which i knew very well, while one has always been either bashful of me or disgusted by me since i met her years ago. The day leading up to the party was spent in an outlet mall in NJ with Ali which was a good experience, except for the lack of a general dept store to get some sunglasses. Ali made out very well finding an interview dress at a ridiculous discount because she's not afraid to ask for well-concealed discounts and people love to interact with her, including me. It was a long day but my first drink at the bar was a red bull and vodka which set me straight. The rest of the night fades in and out of my memory, but i can remember one moment very vividly. I turned around and out of nowhere was standing matt hittenmark. A person i don't care about in the least bit because he always struck me as artificial; like he doesn't really have any taste or desire for anything, just drifting trying to be seen and heard. I wanted to slap him in the face for no particular reason, but i had a short polite conversation with him maintaining an interested smile and polite dimeanor. My skin crawled, but it was a party and i think he saw through me anyway. The rest of the night i was very drunk and remember smiling a lot. Mostly because i enjoyed being around Matt and Dan infinitely. They always look at me with an honest interested expression that i can't get enough of and they're the most honorable, respectful, fun people i've ever met. I don't remember the ride home. I just remember a question that was asked without an answer that was in fact the answer i was dreading. But, i know not to try again and know to prevent similar situations in the future.