Best of 2024

 5) The Vision Bleak - Weird Tales

On first spin of Weird Tales all I could hear were egregious missteps in composition, tracks that seemed incomplete, but in the search for my favorite doom album this year I kept returning to this for seconds, thirds, and after a couple months, it wound up becoming my inexplicable sleeper album of the year.

The songs are so disappointing at first, sometimes arriving at their chorus too early, sometimes never at all, some tracks don't even have a chorus instead relying on a single quiet acoustic interlude verse without repetition. After a while the expectations I was projecting on this album started to fade and I started seeing beyond the abrupt starts and stops of the arbitrary track delimiters. This is an album that's meant to be consumed from start to finish and picking a "favorite track" or radio single would be an entirely fruitless effort.

Given this reorientation, Weird Tales is a deeply mature collection of doom metal ideas entirely eschewing the traditional LP format in favor of a unique narrative journey. Think of this as an artfully cropped novella, a picture book even, trimmed of all fat, showcasing the purity of its images and atmospheres. The ability to make a musical idea feel like home, to make it feel comforting and familiar in this context is exactly the sort of skill that lands you in the top 5 of my list. Well done indeed.

Best of 2024

 6) BIG | BRAVE - A Chaos of Flowers

As Donald signs executive orders demonizing and effectively outlawing the DEI movement, I've been reflecting on what DEI means to me and since the theme of this year is to talk less about music and more about my meaningless musings, here are my thoughts.

I've never chosen a metal band for my list simply because it was a female led project. Never consciously that is. I think music should be judged on merit alone and I simply don't give a shit about how societal movements see music or any artful expression for that matter. When Tipper Gore took on heavy metal, she thought it was evil and destructive, but what she was doing was evil and destructive. Any movement that attempts to artificially promote or obstruct art because of some subjective virtue is likely to end up harming society in some measurable way. The zeitgeist and time decides what is good and no arbitrary group has any right to tell the zeitgeist what it should favor.

This is easy to say about art in a vacuum, but the thing that makes it instantly complicated is money. If you see that some industry is dominated by white men and that industry is making boatloads of money, it seems obviously unfair that women or any other segment of society who isn't white and male don't get a piece of the pie. When it comes to heavy metal, no one cares about this because there simply is no money. Underground metal is only pursued because it is a personal passion and most of the involved musicians have day jobs. That's why it's so easy for me to say DEI is dogshit in respect to true art.

But, when men and women need to pay the same amount in rent, it becomes obviously unfair that men get jobs easier, get paid more, and have greater upward mobility.

And the whole, "companies must maximize merit" argument when applied to getting jobs is dogshit because of how the job market works. It just doesn't matter if the white male has an extra certification, or an extra 6 months, or happened to be slightly more charismatic in an interview. MOST jobs are completely arbitrary, can be learned in a short amount of time, and the people occupying those jobs are largely interchangeable. There's NO way to tell if a person is a good fit for a job until they succeed or fail, and any post hoc rationalization for a failure is going to be bullshit.

DEI was designed to confront this by making sure hiring practices are more fair. My employer at one time held quarterly reviews of how many women and people of color were hired over the past 3 months and celebrated when those numbers were high. Did that make me feel undesirable as an employee? Yes, but I'm paying for the sins of my brethren and didn't take it personally.

Many did take it personally, many who hold positions of power, and because of their insecurity, DEI is being systematically dismantled. This experiment failed.

So what's the next experiment going to look like? Or will it be back to the boys club? I'm honestly not sure. If I were in charge I would do something dumb like keep a registry of all parents who recently had a little girl and send them free copies of A Brief History of Time (for physics), How to Win Friends and Influence People (to understand how white men fuck other people into submission), and The Origin of Species (for biology). STEM and knowing how people fuck each other are essential for all children actually and a broader mandate including boys would probably just fix society generally speaking.

What I'm actually going to do is sit back and watch the zeitgeist swing its scythe. BIG | BRAVE might be spinning as failed progressive programs bleed out. They've created a remarkable record here, including truly original guitar arrangement and tone which builds an overall haunting and witchy atmosphere I hope they continue to develop.

Best of 2024

 7) Wormed - Omegon

Cosmic death metal album #2. Wormed are actually one of the OG cosmic death metal examples. And they happen to be one of the extreme metal bands that firmed up my passions when I was still young and malleable. I remember spinning them at the same time as Myrkskog, Zyklon, and Cryptopsy trying to decide which was most extreme. And, after 8 years of silence Wormed comes back with this, a polished, modern-sounding, expertly produced, punishingly brutal, cosmic death metal record.

Do I wish they produced more? Yep. I also admire the damn miracle it is to come off of a near decade hiatus with this caliber of record. I'm not the only one singing praises. Lots of lists I poked through mentioned this and for me, it was between this and Defeated Sanity, which was also on a lot of lists. But, because I am who I am, the nerdy sci-fi shit was enough to edge out that record. (Not to mention Defeated Sanity leaned way too far into the comically bad snare drum sound so commonly featured in brutal death metal, (you didn't hear it from me)).

Best of 2024

 8) Verberis - The Apophatic Wilderness

Hey, you all know Ulcerate came out with an album this year, it's in here, surprise spoiled. But, did you know Ulcerate's drummer Jamie Saint Merat is in another band that also had a release this year?! You would know if you read my list from years past because this isn't their first appearance.

Verberis plays progressive black metal strongly influenced by Deathspell Omega. Deathspell Omega has historically been accused of using a drum machine, but denied this in an obscure interview no one's ever read. Listening to Deathspell you'd understand where the speculation comes from, the drumming on on their albums seems superhuman. I would bet there's some production magic happening on those early albums, but I would fall short of accusation of it being faked with technology.

This being said, any band that chooses to take influence from Deathspell Omega is taking on a very specific burden. The percussion needs to feel like it's produced by an unhinged savant. In saying that you might be worried JSM might steal the show, but just like in Deathspell, the percussion is simply there to provide momentum to the compositions of existential hell. When he needs to be, JSM is a modest drummer, masterfully articulate, and ultimately in service to the music.

This is a "sit down and take it in" kind of album. It requires patience and attention. Given that, it's particularly interesting that it contains my favorite guitar solo of the year. It's at the 6 minute mark of the final track. Enjoy.

Best of 2024

 9) Siderean - Spilling the Astral Chalice

Remember last year, when I said Afterbirth was a flash in the pan, that no one else would be taking brutal death metal into the astral plane anytime soon, and I shouldn't get my hopes overinflated that death metal would transcend from pure violence?

It's happening, it's fucking happening right now. What we're witnessing is nothing short of a renaissance. The cause for this new direction could be argued. I have a feeling it has to do with a sort of pendulum swing. Death metal for a very long time has been about brutal violence, torture, rape, but it wasn't always like that. Death metal's beginning was characterized by bands seeking meaning. Death, Gorguts, Cynic. These bands took something that was relatively new and swung for the fences with existentialism. Then bands like Cannibal Corpse, Dying Fetus, Aborted, etc brought the genre into a much easier place of endless brutal gore. All you have to do to write violent death metal is to open any anatomy book and channel your inner abused child, let them free to run wild with abandon, let them dissect, bleed, and meat hook mount the women who rejected them, the parents who didn't understand them. This, while cathartic to some extent, is very childish and gets old very quickly.

So what are extremely intelligent post-modern death metal musicians expected to do in a space characterized by brutality? Transcend, reflect on what Chuck, Luc, and Paul were trying to accomplish in the 90s, reflect on what it means to truly break free from a society attempting to impose conformity onto every system it encounters.

I termed Afterbirth as Psychedelic Brutal Death Metal last year, but I want to take a step back and reassess (since I'm a genre whore) and begin using a different term that allows more bands into this merry troupe of miscreants: Cosmic Death Metal. The genre is characterized by brutal dissonance, by creativity, by transcendence beyond the earthly plane. I'm expecting many more to join the ranks over the next few years and I'm here for it.

In explaining this I haven't said a damn word about this particular album and I'm not going to correct that now. Just go listen to it if you give a damn about music.

Best of 2024

 10) Pijn - From Low Beams of Hope

This was my little secret of the year. It will not appear on any other lists unlike the rest of my picks. It's a modest little post-rock album, the best post-rock album of the year.

I was one of the misguided youths who got way too into Godspeed You Black Emperor and Explosions in the Sky in my 20s. Since then I've followed the masses and moved away from post-rock as a genre. There just isn't much interesting activity happening in this space. New bands are largely local acts retreading familiar ideas that have a hard time breaking through.

I'm not sure what it was about the 90's and 00's that created an environment where post-rock was allowed to gain popularity in the first place. The genre is missing the primary element that makes a band compelling, a charismatic leading presence. The genre instead relies on a continuous interplay of musical elements. The selling point is in dynamics. The best albums of the genre find a way to marry quiet moments with big cathartic crescendos in long-form compositions. But, I get the feeling it's incredibly difficult to strike gold with this formula because it happens so seldom.

Pijn reset my expectations for post-rock this year. I doubt it'll reinvigorate the genre, but I have been doing my best to spread the word.

Best of 2024

In the year 2024 I met a grown man who believed in astrology. I was talking to him at a bar and he was trying to sell it to me. "Oh everyone thinks star sign is the end all be all, but it's your moon sign bro, you should let me do your chart."

This one conversation had a fairly profound effect on my year overall because it made me realize everyone is operating in a space of self-delusion and in fact it is these completely untenable beliefs that bring people together, that form the basis of friendships, that bring people happiness and meaning.

It was because of this conversation and similar interactions that I experimented with my own delusion this year. I did the Gateway Experience. For those who aren't aware it was a meditation program developed in the 70s to enable people to remote view or remove their mind from their body and see things completely external. Think intelligence gathering through meditation. I never saw anything I could reasonably say was an actual event occurring, but it did have some benefit. While going through the program I was busy constructing an alternate reality. I can at this point disconnect my awareness of my physical body, go to the place I constructed, and exist there for as long as I choose to.

Nothing supernatural or extra-sensory is going on, however it does imply something about an ability of the human mind: People are living in their own subjective reality whether they're aware of it or not. There is no objective reality and anyone who tries to explain that there is objectivity to existence is ousted from every social group they encounter. I know from experience.

The belief system held by individuals is completely arbitrary depending on their location, upbringing, community, etc. Oftentimes this belief system is intensely influenced by corporations who co-opt the zeitgeist for their own ends. After having a long conversation with a female where she explained that makeup is bad for skin and how women shouldn't be taken in by large companies who don't care about women at all, I witnessed their bathroom countertop with about $1000 of "natural" lotions, potions, pigments, and tools from corporations. Everyone does this in some form or another.

I think very few people choose the reality in which they live. Most are simply living in the one their subconscious has constructed over the years of their existence. Even if someone put in a lot of effort constructing their reality purposefully, that reality wouldn't be nearly as complete or comforting to live in than the complex clockworks of an assumed reality.

I've tried really hard this year to allow this realization to soften my outlook on life. When I encounter grown adults who believe in astrology I try not to hate them by default even though the impulse to do so is strong. When I encounter grown adults who choose this corporation's useless products over that corporation's useless products because of their B Corp status I try not to roll my eyes.

The placebo effect works. Belief in the untenable provides meaning. Questioning people's beliefs results in loneliness. I learned these things too late. This wasn't a great year for metal, but I told people it was because I wanted it to be my reality. I'm not sure how successful I was in self-delusion, but it was an attempt, and... with no further delay, here is my best music of 2024 list.

Best of 2023

 1) Afterbirth - In But Not Of

I love brutal death metal bands... in the way that one loves corndogs. They're tasty and non-serious. You're never going to encounter an outstanding corndog, it'll just handily hit the spot now and again. Nothing too memorable or exciting. This is exactly why Afterbirth is sitting in #1 this year. This is an outstanding brutal death metal album, memorable, even profound at times. This album is the haute cuisine corndog that should not exist.

So what variables have Afterbirth tweaked in order to create such an excellent example of brutal death metal. Attributes like atmosphere, composition, pacing come to mind and while I could wax on about how these particular elements are unique here, I'd be doing the album a disservice in dissection. This is so special to me simply because I've never heard anything like it and it's so much fun to listen to. I'll be bopping my head to churning passages of gore-grind, and then all the disembodied guts will get caught in this multi-dimensional vortex in deep space. The balances of brutality and Zen on display here are truly remarkable. 

I was thinking for a moment this year that it's possible other young upstarts will listen to this and take note, be inspired to carry this sub-sub-sub-genre into something that blossoms, but I came to the eventual conclusion this is unlikely. I honestly think it takes a very unique set of individuals to harmonize violence and transcendence and this record and this band may occupy their niche alone for some time. As long as they keep writing this is fine by me.

Best of 2023

 2) Saturnus - The Storm Within

Nostalgia should be able to bring you just so far toward happiness or contentment. The reminder of a past beautiful moment is not a new beautiful moment, it's the awareness of a reverberating echo that fades over time. This reality gets complicated when a band who's been silent for 10+ years reignites a genre of music that has largely been forgotten. This record could have easily been written, recorded, and stored away in a time capsule around the year 2000. It sounds authentically death/doom from that era, an era I loved deeply.

Of course, just sounding like a record lost in time wouldn't be enough to make the list, especially this high. The Storm Within is also a deeply emotional album full of authentically fragile moments. Death/doom always faces the risk of sounding melodramatic, as if the emotions aren't quite real, that they've been dramatized for aesthetic effect. I never felt that in response to this album. As these musicians grow older they aren't forgetting the rawness of emotions of loss and the resulting confusion and discontent. In saying that I immediately feel a sense of concern for these gentlemen. I hope they simply tap into these emotions for musical inspiration and haven't been spending the last 30 years wallowing in despair. Of course I spend quite a bit of my adult life wallowing in despair, so I'm not in a position to weigh in on others' mental health. 

Best of 2023

 3) Ahab - The Coral Tombs

Ahab has been writing concept albums since they started and I've made a ritual of reading the book in the same year of their album so I can understand the lyrics, give everything context, create feedback loops between music and literature. 

This was by far the most painful of those experiences. Normally the pain would be as a result of the emotional weight of the experience, but this time was different, this time they picked a shit fucking book. I have no idea why 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is considered a classic. In it's 240 pages hardly anything happens. Nemo simply zooms from one end of the earth to the other speaking passively about the evils of man, but never giving us the source from which his hate is derived. He has such an unwavering command of his vessel he makes it clear no one is ever in any danger. Verne completely forgets danger is the fountain from which intrigue pours. His captive Aronnax watches as they zoom around and takes note of all the fish and vegetation at the bottom of the sea. That's 90% of the content of the book.

There are two compelling moments in the book. One Ahab dutifully covered, an underwater funeral complete with ritual and procession. I really enjoyed it when the images between mediums coalesced here. The other compelling moment was an experience near the south pole. The Nautilis is trapped beneath a gigantic iceberg and the crew slowly suffocates while trying to discover modes of escape. Ahab didn't include this as a track and I can't imagine why because they know how to write about suffocation (Aeons Elapse off the Giant is THE best song they've ever written).

Ultimately Ahab are fantastic songwriters, and they did successfully draw enough influence from this turd of a novel to create a compelling, charismatic, heartbreaking album. One can only imagine the quality of the resulting album if the next book is actually good.

Best of 2023

 4) Rotten Sound - Apocalypse

I took a vacation to visit my family recently. The bulk of the visit was listening to my conservative father complain about the decline of civilization. He didn't make any really compelling points, more just pointing at things like homeless people and young people with anxiety saying, "See, it's obviously getting worse." It's lazy and short-sighted and he should get a hobby.

But is the world actually in decline? Are the aggregated signals of societal health showing a positive or negative trend? Are there more or less existential threats today than in past decades or centuries?

Rotten Sound wrote this collection of grievances and observations clearly indicating their perception of decline. Although Rotten Sound is a crusty veteran grind band who've made a career of being generally negative so you shouldn't take their word for it.

My word is society has never been aligned with ideas like a greater good, or peace, or well-being, or nature preservation, or sustainability. To have the perception that it used to be and it's not anymore is self-delusion or a misinterpretation of history. To have the perception that it will eventually be aligned to those greater goals is naïve. We have always been on a sinking ship that paradoxically becomes bigger and more mechanized the more water it takes on. While I don't agree with the finger pointing Rotten Sound is doing with this album, it is a fantastic soundtrack to our perpetually sinking ship.

Best of 2023

 5) Werewolves - My Enemies Look and Sound Like Me

When I first started my job at a tech company I remember the "ice breaker" question was, "What is the weirdest food you've ever had?" At a certain point leadership at the company determined this question was too divisive, that the word "weird" made people feel less included.

I can't help but think we're losing something by taming our conversations in this way. "Weird" isn't a negative word in my opinion, our weirdness should be held close to our heart and shared whenever a person feels comfortable doing so, sometimes even when they feel uncomfortable doing so, as long as it comes from somewhere honest.

Werewolves pushes this idea to the extreme because the only word that comes to mind listening to this record is "hatred." Are there still avenues where we can express true hatred? Is hatred even a valid emotion anymore? Fuck yes is my answer. If you have a good reason to hate, go ahead and hate and share your hatred. Say something aggressive. If it turns out what you've said is too offensive for your given audience they'll let you know by ousting you from their community. This is how I believe society should work, a collection of honest people expressing themselves freely and grouping based on tribal biases. Self-censoring is lying, it's insulting your audience by pre-emptively deciding they can't handle the truth.

People aren't born weak, they are either sliced into something paper thin, or layered in armor. Werewolves is a reminder that true uncensored expression still exists and anyone who isn't afraid of the extremes of emotion should give it a spin. Those more interested in inclusivity and not ruffling feathers should avoid this one, and by extension avoid me.

Best of 2023

 6) Carnosus - Visions of Infinihility

I remember years ago begrudgingly including a thrash band on my list and then every year since I've had a thrash band here. At the start I was like "I hate thrash, but damn this good," and eventually I realized its not thrash I hate it's the popular execution of thrash, and the old thrash guys putting out boring as fuck albums.

But, when the young sink their teeth into this genre, they sometimes puncture new flesh, sometimes let new blood spurt from the wound.

Carnosus is the thrash band of 2023. Their approach is not so dissimilar from other visionary thrash from recent years, it's just taken one step further. The musicians are tied to this heritage, yet still hungry. Tons of neck breaking riffs, borrowing a little from Gojira groove, borrowing plenty from death metal contemporaries, and bringing more, more, more, in their hunger, feeding me with what I need in my undying addiction to end of year lists.

The risk is future albums. It's rare one of these thrash bands makes a future appearance, so best of luck you lovely lot of thrashers.

Best of 2023

 7) Fires in the Distance - Air Not Meant For Us

This was certainly one of my more stubborn moments of 2023. I kept seeing ridiculously positive reviews of this record, enough to cause me to listen to 30 seconds here, 30 seconds there, but I wasn't sold. There was something about the unconditional praise I didn't trust, and those little listens didn't change my mind. So I dismissed this record without much regret. Then comes the end of the year and once again I see it everywhere. It's on everyone's list. So I put my pride in short assessments I've nurtured over decades to the side and sat down for a full listen. This is a great album, it just has the uncanny ability to be unremarkable taken in little chunks. I think it has to do with how the songs are composed. Each track is quite long and uses the length to win the listener over with these long majestic passages rife with melodramatic piano backing. Each little riff on its own if dissected is quite simple, lots of palm muted pedalling without much tonal variation, but all these little parts add up to a remarkable whole.

I think what this album lacks is showmanship, and that's ultimately why I'm putting it here in my list. The musicians sound mature and they balance each other's presence so well, I found myself in deep admiration of the restraint. Of all the genres of music I've always believed metal bands have a talent for this kind of restraint, for each musician to quiet themselves in sacrifice to a greater whole, and this album is a prime example.

Best of 2023

 8) Cattle Decapitation - Terrasite

I first got into Cattle Decapitation with To Serve Man, and really only because the album art was fucking brutal. This was the same year I picked up Impaled's Mondo Medicale which had a cover so obscene the record company needed to make a "mall record store acceptable version." I was picking albums simply by looking at the cover. If it made me wretch a little, I'd drop allowance money on some new brutality. Very mature I know.

Cattle Decapitation has come a long way since 2002. I dusted off To Serve Man and while I still really enjoy the riffs and those gurgly brutal death metal vocals, it is a largely unpolished album, very much a garage rock approach to death-grind.

Terrasite is grown up big boy death-grind. The musicianship, composition, production, are all polished chrome and razor sharp. Upon saying that I can see someone walking away from that description with a negative perception toward this album. Death-grind is largely about gut slop and sewage, and it's natural to expect some rough around the edges qualities to the resulting product. I just think I'm so enamored by the journey these men have been on for the past 20 years. Their catalog is a natural evolution of getting better and better at something not even their mothers could love. They will not be remembered for this journey by anyone save a microscopic slice of death metal aficionados. Why did they keep going? Why did they try so hard? What does it feel like to succeed so completely at making perfect death-grind? Likely their answer would be "The fans." I hope we damaged few are enough to keep them going for the foreseeable future. 

Best of 2023

 9) Totenmesse - Fiktionlust

I was ready to make this review about a single individual, thinking about how much I loved the vocals on Odraza's Rzeczom and seeing the same vocalist here, but to my surprise the vocalist from Odraza is actually the guitarist on this project and the vocal duties are being handled by a man named Mold. I'm not being hard on myself for not immediately noticing the difference, but this does speak to something I'm finding as a theme in Polish black metal. It's the undeniable charisma of Polish black metal vocalists, or maybe what I'm witnessing is a little microcosm of borrowed style of delivery among a small group of friends. Whatever it is I love it. The artfully syncopated rhythms, the extremity of how far the rasps are pushed, the textures between guttural bellows and shrieks. I don't know any other metal movement pushing this hard and raw on the vocals outside of maybe the veterans of grind. There's also a stark militancy present like it's in some way influenced by Poland's communist past. I've always loved when Eastern Bloc communist culture comes crashing into boundless artful expression. I'm carrying on, but Polish black metal has been on my lists for the past few years for good reason, not only for vocals, but the passion, the stretch toward something truly extreme.

Best of 2023

 10) TORPOR - Abscission

I'm in the middle of a green pasture lit by torches and moonlight. There are men on either side of me, their strong arms hooked under my shoulders. I am being dragged through a crowd of people all yelling and spitting and carrying on. A man wearing a black hood is standing on a platform 20 paces in front of me. He walks to an iron brazier, brightly lit with fire. Aggressive contours of the hooded man's face are revealed in the relief of glowing yellow reflection and shadow. With each step I try to find words in the cacophony, but I can't find the beginning or end of any syllable, it's a guttural smear of speech. Closer, closer, I'm not fighting the direction of momentum. I'm pressed against a pine wood pole, my arms pulled backward with enough force to tear the muscle in my chest. Course, splintering rope is wrapped around my wrists behind the pole and I am spread open, heart exposed to waves of flowing hatred. I am blindfolded, the noise is louder. There is heat on my heels, for a moment comforting on the briskly cool night. Then pain as the fabric against my skin is consumed by hungry flame. Moments, moments, the fire licks up my body, cooking skin, melting fat. The sound is now coming from me, louder and stronger than the mob, but it again has no words. It is simply a noise transforming my lifesblood into wet heat and air.

I feel nothing now. I have learned nothing.

Best of 2023

I felt my anger rising this year. I was rude to more people. In the past I always perceived myself as having unending patience, the ability to engage in a conflict and see it through to resolution with poise and calmness. But, I can feel something changing as I approach 40 years old. Over the past year when I found that an individual, a group, or an institution was being unjust, or short-sighted, or BORING, I found myself feeling the impulse to end the conversation prematurely, to respond with what I'm sure they perceived as an uncomfortably long period of silence while maintaining strong eye contact, eventually saying a purposefully cold word, and walking away.

I did it today. I was walking around with my camera wearing a Pig Destroyer shirt under a ratty beaten up flannel. My subjects were mostly garbage. For some reason the marriage of rotting cold winter vegetation and Coca-Cola cans struck my eye as interesting. A large family came up behind me, all the kids were holding menacing large sticks, swinging them violently at the muddy ground kicking up James River residue. This wasn't a common place to be. It was somewhat secluded, a quiet place, good for a lonely man to take a picture. The patriarch of the family came up to me and said, "You know I was just thinking this is probably a great place to take pictures." I don't know what I expected from him, but this seemed very selfish. The only thing I was thinking was, "It was right up until your kids started swinging sticks into the mud scaring that majestic great blue heron stalking in the reeds over there." I looked at him for an uncomfortable moment and eventually responded "Right," and slowly walked away. I think years ago I would've been kinder, I just have so much anger right now.

I don't know why exactly this is happening. Watching the conflict in Gaza, watching the still raging death in Ukraine, watching the hawks beat war drums looking toward Iran and China on the horizon might be causing me some emotion. Seeing the young people protest and chant nonsense in response is causing another emotion. The world is turning, the same, the same, the same, none of this absurdity and death means anything and nothing stops it, it continues like crashing waves on my beaten shores. 

New media looks an awful lot like old media, so-called scientists have podcasts pushing products that turn out to be snake oil or poison. Stephen Fry was lambasted recently for saying that he wanted people to be kind to each other. That was interesting. These things may be piling up.

The freeing aspect of feeling this way is that I don't feel the judgment of others anymore. My coatrack neck, my self performed sloppy haircut, my "fuck you very much fashion sense," are all things that I imagine is making people uncomfortable, but they just said "From the River to the Sea," they just watched and fully embraced a youtube video explaining the history of the lost and forgotten civilization of lizard people, they just stammered on with their friend about how offensive Dave Chapelle has become.

I just don't have time for that shit. So if you see me and say something silly, enjoy that moment of silence, I've been told I have very nice hazel eyes. Enjoy the timbre of my deep voice when you receive the one syllable you deserve and enjoy your day you BORING prick.

And with that, my list for 2023.

Best of 2022

 1) Cult of Luna - The Long Road North

Disruption is a concept I keep hearing in various contexts working in the tech industry. I can't help but cringe when the word is wrapped in a well-tailored business suit. I've spent my life endlessly exploring and analyzing disruptive culture. The true disruption is to express something dangerous, frightening, unmarketable. Disruption should be felt in one's core, it should challenge you, change you, turn you into something different than what you were yesterday. An app can't be disruptive, a siloed cesspool of social media does not have the capacity to disrupt.

Cult of Luna does and I honestly don't know how it all works in the background. I can picture members of the band sitting in a room with a record company exec trying to describe this album. 

    "The Long Road North is about the inevitable reality that everyone lives and dies alone, spending a fair amount of time running from forces out of their control, falling in love and having it stripped away by more uncontrollable forces. The demise will come eventually but only after hallucinating an illusion of the past that never actually existed, simply a final comfort in their final moments."

    "Green light my boys! Here's your money!"

While I'm sure Metal Blade is taking care of this incredible band, I can't imagine this was a very successful album in context of the music marketing machine. This is due to the fact that it is disruptive, it's full of uncomfortable feelings, dissonance, aggression, and submission that to a broader audience is too hard to swallow. When the masses want their music sugar coated with new flings and fun nights, there is no place for Cult of Luna. The band's commitment to their vision given the unlikely outcome of success is why I love them, why I'll always be a loyal fan.

Best of 2022

 2) Hangman's Chair - A Loner

I spent a lot of time thinking about this album in 2022 and still thinking about it deep into 2023. I've oscillated a lot over past years between thinking I was a loner and thinking that's just the insecurity talking and I'm actually like everyone else, a social creature requiring affection and attention. 2022 confirmed it, I'm definitely a loner and thinking otherwise gets me into trouble.

Along with spinning this album somewhat compulsively, I've been thinking about loners from the past, people who lived mostly solitary lives and still contributed to humanity in some definable way. There's a few of them and they certainly have lessons to learn about the dangers of alcoholism and other self-destructive behaviors that ultimately lead to a short life. We'll see if these lessons can help me build some semblance of sustainable existence. Regardless, for this loner, Hangman's Chair is my kind of dear friend.

Best of 2022

 3) Ashenspire - Hostile Architecture

I remember having a thought a long time ago about what a minimum viable society should look like. There were some obvious requirements I think would need to be enforced to truly feel like I was part of something meaningful. Is everyone well-fed and healthy discounting unavoidable illness? When illness strikes is there universal access to care? Is everyone housed adequately? Are there ample avenues of education? Is that education fueled with as much objective information as possible? Does leadership care about the individuals they speak for? Lots of other questions, but thinking about this list it's my perception we've failed at some point and the society we live in isn't a society, but rather a meatgrinder with a perpetually rotating crank under the relentless force of Moloch.

This album is a detailed analysis of the structure and design of the meatgrinder and the hand that cranks it. It's anger blasts and burns and ultimately feels like a welcome catharsis. This is the kind of music that should matter because it exposes evils and expects a response. I think we're beyond the point of looking to our music for guidance, Woodstock was a long time ago. It is nice to see a group of musicians still trying though.